I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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