If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
