Define "chronic" masturbator.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
