Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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