yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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