Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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