please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
