i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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