Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
