5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
