You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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