i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
