i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
