So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
