I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
