Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
