I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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