Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
