Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
