sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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