My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
