I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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