He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
