I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
