Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
