Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
