I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
