I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
