I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
