i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I stole a fireplace last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
