He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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