I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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