Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize