umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Randomize
