I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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