i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
