apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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