I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
