No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
