If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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