i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
