Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
