you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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