I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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