So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
