Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
