they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
