Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
