Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
