Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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