you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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